why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
