Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
