...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
