even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
