i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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