yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
