just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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