I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize