just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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