well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
