Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
