he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
