There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
