My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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