He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize