i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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