I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
