I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Redeem this text for a blowjob
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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