I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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