The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
