clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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