well I can't set my house on fire every night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
