Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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