This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
