I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
