Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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