I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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