You're earring is so big in my mouth
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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