trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
