atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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