and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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