I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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