oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
