Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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