Duck Duck Cougar?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize