Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
