we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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