Where is the hickey?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
