Betty ford says i'm here all night
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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