i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dignity is for republicans.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
