dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
