There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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