Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
