Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
