apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
