Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
