it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Vodka?
Forever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
