So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was a blind-side dick pic.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
