Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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