Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
