I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
