Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
