this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
