Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
