I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize