i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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