Dual....:-)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
