his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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