Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
