belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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