U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
