His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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