When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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