"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
