Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
